We don't ever really hate ourselves, but very often we do hate things we have done. Sometimes our actions are stupid, sometimes they are selfish, sometimes they can be wrong. In looking back at our actions we often feel shame, regret, and even hate. We despise the things we have done or said yet; at the same time we continue to love ourselves. You see, we make a distinction between ourselves and our actions.

We allow this distinction in regards to ourselves. We say things like, "I am ashamed of what I did, that really wasn't the real me." So why not apply this to others? Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves. That doesn't mean that we have to like everything that others do however, it does mean we must not hold hatred, ill will, un-forgiveness in our hearts against the real person. We separate the action from the person.

To love means to give ourselves in help and service to others. The emotion of love cannot be commanded, but the service of love can. And if the service of love is sincere, eventually we will feel the emotion of love. As we serve and help others we gain the ability to love them regardless of their actions.

Action Steps:

1.  Think of those that have been difficult to love; try to separate the person from the action.

2.  Think of the things you can do for them, even little things will begin to help you change your emotions toward them. 

3.  Make an attempt today to practice the above. 

-Dr. Rob Carman, Is the founder of Victory World Missions, a prolific author, church planter and well-know conference speaker. www.robcarman.com